Sex and the short-term missionary
By Don Johnson —
After short-term missionaries have been properly screened and trained, one might expect that they would have little difficulty maintaining their sexual purity during and after their mission trip. But research and experience show us that this isn’t always the case.
In their article “Stressed Beyond Measure,”
Dodds and Dodds, counselors who have worked with missionaries for many years, share a case study about a “single missionary who went to South America, met a national on the bus, and within two weeks of landing in the country was wooed into landing in bed with him.”
A two-year study
of more than 100 short-term mission participants shows that most experienced a “significant decline
in personal purity both during the mission program and the year following their return home.”
And one leader in the Child Safety and Protection Network—a collaborative network of mission agencies, faith-based NGOs and international Christian schools focused on issues of child protection—reported that short-term missionaries have proven to be a concern, as several have been caught smuggling child pornography back into the US on their laptops. What is going on here?
Changing cultural norms
Today’s typical short-term missionary from North America comes from a more sexually saturated and permissive society than previous generations. The book unChristian
includes studies showing that a significant number of evangelical Christians under the age of 40 consider certain sexually based behaviors to be morally acceptable—like cohabiting with members of the opposite sex, viewing pornography, having sex outside of marriage, and engaging in same-sex relationships. In fact, viewing internet pornography has become epidemic among young evangelicals, with 25-33% of Christian women and over 90% of young Christian men admitting to viewing online porn.
Coming from this cultural background in North America and entering the emotional and spiritual stresses of being on a short-term mission team in another culture—one that may be even more sexually permissive than North America—can leave short-term missionaries vulnerable to a decline in personal purity.
Lack of accountability
Short-termers are away from “normal.” The accountability structures they have in North America, such as family, church, and schedule, are no longer in place. To make things worse, short-termers may find themselves reluctant to be transparent about their struggles and to ask for help, fearing that field leaders or team members might consider them bad Christians if they admit to having sexual struggles while on the field.
Emotional intensity
There is the “pressure cooker” aspect of being part of a team with intense relationship dynamics that develop over a period of weeks or months and that culminate in an emotionally charged ministry in an exotic or possibly even frightening location.
Craving in a new culture
The new culture may offer increased opportunity for short-termers to engage in behaviors they wouldn’t consider doing “back home.” Also, working with nationals can lead to cultural miscues that result in short-termers engaging in relationships more quickly and more intensely than usual, as with the single missionary cited above who went to South America.
Struggles with self-esteem
The sudden change of status or self-identity that short-termers experience in a foreign culture sometimes leads them to seek reassurance in inappropriate relationships. This change in perceived status may manifest as low
self-esteem because they can’t function as highly or contribute at the same level they could in their home country, or as inflated
self-esteem because of their “rock star” status as Americans or because of the sudden increase in their attractiveness due to their possession of an American passport.
Ultimately, all these factors could be part of a spiritual attack. As Randy Friesen
says, “
There is a battle for the purity of young adults serving in short-term missions programs and most seem to be losing.”
So what can we do to help fight this battle? Is it enough to be forewarned and, therefore, to be forearmed? Significantly, Friesen reported that “the quantitative data related to personal purity indicated that, regardless of whether programs focused on this concept in their extensive pre-trip discipleship training or not, participants declined in their experience of personal purity.” This observation suggests that short-term team leaders and field leaders need to constantly reinforce their teaching on this topic throughout the entire short-term experience, including during the debrief and the follow-through period
after the return home.
But how does a church, agency, or short-term team leader do that? Here are some suggestions:
If we know that our short-termers potentially come from a background of sexual temptation, and that issues stemming from such a background can be exacerbated by the stresses inherent in a short-term trip and exposure to another culture, we are being derelict in our responsibility if we fail to give them clear warning along with the necessary tools and support to help them navigate these dangerous waters.
Additional Posts
Choosing a Missions Organization: Why SEND International Stands Out “Why should I be a missionary through SEND International?” Jenna, a new missionary in Eastern Europe, shared with us what she appreciates about working with SEND. The highlights for her are: - Devotion to prayer - Diligence in communication - Commitment to development - Intentionality in accountability Prayer “Back in September of 2022, the Lord reconnected me with SEND after I had met them a year prior at the Moody Bible Institute. However, before he would sign me up for anything, my Missions Coach encouraged me to pray. He said something to the effect of, "I know that you've been praying on your own for a long time. But as the Church, we are not called to walk alone. So, you and I won't talk for about a month unless you have questions. I want you to go pray with 5 or 6 others from your church about where God is calling you." That October, more than 10 friends prayed with me and we saw God answer as He directed me to Romania. From February 2024 to November 2025, I had the pleasure of being a part of team meetings in Romania with my SEND colleagues. Our meetings were four hours long, two for prayer and two for business. This has been the minimum for our team. There are also prayer meetings with the local churches we partner with, among smaller groups within our team, of course prayer with many of you across the pond, including those at our US office. The organization was built, has been sustained, and continues to run on prayer. This is my favorite thing about SEND. Communication As I mentioned above, we have a two hour block for business / ministry details in each of our meetings. This provides consistency across our team which works alongside three different churches and in a variety of ministries. It also helps us to communicate about the need for change or growth, alongside what is working well. In addition, my team director also meets with each of us, allowing us to communicate needs, considerations, and prayer requests. I've also enjoyed getting to work with SEND workers outside of my immediate region . We receive emails with the minutes from the Europe leadership team, Friday communications from our international director, and information regarding projects that affect our work among the unreached. In December of 2024, our international director at the time wrote a note to my parents for the first Christmas that I was gone. If nothing else had convinced my mom yet, this did. He took the time to care for me, but also to care well for the parents that were sending me (What it meant to my dad and mom for him to do this well has been one of the greatest ways I've been supported.). I also have some pretty wonderful regional directors. These people have prayed alongside us (while also serving in their own countries of service), they have taken time to come visit and encourage our team, and they have also taken the time to encourage the people in our churches. Development SEND has provided much in the area of development and care (spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally). At our regional conference (every three years), there have been medical check ups available, counseling options, and time for connecting with others on the field with similar experience. At our conference last October, I connected with a missionary who served overseas for many years, and is now serving on the administrative side of SEND. She has met with me since then for mentorship and has also invested much of her time recently in preparing a retreat for the singles across Europe. Accountability Over the years I have read and heard amazing stories of how God has worked through missionaries. God has done great things and great things He is still doing! However, people who have committed their lives to the Lord in this way are not “super Christians”. We are still humans with the same struggle against flesh that others have . A major challenge is in being isolated -- living in areas with little to no presence of other believers to sharpen them can cause many difficulties. SEND has been a great resource in this area too. Through my team, I have an accountability partner that I meet with monthly. When my regional director came to visit, he and his wife spent a day with me and asked intentional questions about how I lead, handle conflict, and how I am growing in general as a Christian. In addition, my teammates share their wisdom with me on a regular basis. These things and more have assured me that SEND International is a highly valuable organization and I'm excited to partner with them in service to, for, and with our great God! Interested in being sent by SEND?
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