When going to college means leaving your culture
By Josie Oldenburg —
Teena Embaugh traveled 17,868 miles last year — all for the love of missionary kids.
A major part of Teena’s job is keeping up with SEND’s college-age MKs. “I get on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat to keep in touch,” she says.
But social media only goes so far — so Teena goes the extra mile. Or, rather, the extra 17,868 miles, most of which she logged on visits to meet face-to-face with college-age MKs on their campuses.
“All that travel is worth it when the kids go, ‘Really? You came here just to see me?’ I ask a couple of questions, and then they talk nonstop,” Teena says. “They say, ‘Oh wow, you do
understand, you get it, you care about this part of me.’”
Teena also organizes twice-a-year prayer chapels for SEND’s college-age MKs, during which each student is prayed for by name. After the fall chapel, the pray-ers turn into packers, putting together care packages (42 this year!) for SEND’s college kids.
Teena shares what she’s learned as she’s traveled coast-to-coast, east, west, north and south, supporting SEND’s college-age MKs:
On why going away to college is different for MKs
They are not only going away from home for the first time and experiencing college culture like every other kid does — but in their case, they’re leaving their country. They’re leaving their entire culture, their whole worldview.
If they were from Spain and going to college in Germany, people would understand, “Oh, you’re not from here. You have to learn college culture and German culture.” But in the US, if you speak English and you have a US passport, you don’t get that opportunity to adjust. They are expected by all of those around them to just know certain things.
For example, most of our kids grow up in cultures where time is not the highest value, people or events are. It’s a huge, huge cultural shift to, for instance, understand that you have to show up to class on time or it could affect your grade.
On what to ask a college-age MK
What’s the best thing about being at college? What are you enjoying the most?
What’s been the hardest thing about coming to college?
What was a surprise — good or bad?
After we’ve talked over all these other things, I ask for specific ways I can pray for them.
On good timing …
I can’t tell you how many times God’s orchestrated it so that I arrived on campus right as something really traumatic was happening. I got there eight hours after one young woman had a car accident. We talked through the whole trauma of what happened, I helped her take the car to a garage to make sure we had a good, quality guy who would fix it, and I was there two days later when she picked it up. I got to walk her through all of that when her parents couldn’t. I’m always available, 24/7, to our college MKs, and I can come be with them if they’re facing a trauma until their parents can arrive.
On making friends in a new culture
MKs are known for being able to quickly develop deep friendships. Especially spiritually, a lot of MKs really hunger to find deep enough connections with friends that they can have intense spiritual conversations. When they quickly try to talk about such things in the American culture, the response is, “Woah, I don’t know you well enough to be talking about my relationship with the Lord.” I challenge the MKs to give people time, to keep pursuing friendships, to be patient. American college students are perfectly capable of going into those deeper things, it just takes longer.
On why it stinks to be far from family (and how supporting churches can help)
College-age MKs can’t go home when they’ve had a really bad week and they just want some of mom’s home cooking or a hug from dad. A supporting church can offer that to these kids. But a church can’t necessarily just step in once the MK is back for college.
A lot of MKs won’t even go back to their “home church” because they’ve never personally connected with anyone there. They consider it their parents’ church. If a supporting church really wants to support the family as a whole, it needs to make the effort to connect with the kids throughout the years, so that they feel at home and that they already have some connections when they move back.
On the best advice for MKs transitioning to college
On not making faith assumptions …
You can’t assume that just because an MK grew up around the Bible and around faithful people for their whole lives that they own it for themselves. MKs have a spiritual journey of their own that they have to walk. We need to give them grace and an opportunity to say, “You know, I don’t know that I’ve ever chosen Christ for myself.” College is often a time when kids go through a process of making their faith their own, and not just the faith of their parents. That can be part of the MK experience, too. It’s a critical time.
On how you can pray
Everybody can be praying for college-age MKs, not only that they would adjust culturally, but that they would go toward the Lord in this major time of decision-making and growth in their lives.
Banner image: Three SEND MKs, just after high-school graduation, on the brink of leaving Japan for college.
Additional Posts
Choosing a Missions Organization: Why SEND International Stands Out “Why should I be a missionary through SEND International?” Jenna, a new missionary in Eastern Europe, shared with us what she appreciates about working with SEND. The highlights for her are: - Devotion to prayer - Diligence in communication - Commitment to development - Intentionality in accountability Prayer “Back in September of 2022, the Lord reconnected me with SEND after I had met them a year prior at the Moody Bible Institute. However, before he would sign me up for anything, my Missions Coach encouraged me to pray. He said something to the effect of, "I know that you've been praying on your own for a long time. But as the Church, we are not called to walk alone. So, you and I won't talk for about a month unless you have questions. I want you to go pray with 5 or 6 others from your church about where God is calling you." That October, more than 10 friends prayed with me and we saw God answer as He directed me to Romania. From February 2024 to November 2025, I had the pleasure of being a part of team meetings in Romania with my SEND colleagues. Our meetings were four hours long, two for prayer and two for business. This has been the minimum for our team. There are also prayer meetings with the local churches we partner with, among smaller groups within our team, of course prayer with many of you across the pond, including those at our US office. The organization was built, has been sustained, and continues to run on prayer. This is my favorite thing about SEND. Communication As I mentioned above, we have a two hour block for business / ministry details in each of our meetings. This provides consistency across our team which works alongside three different churches and in a variety of ministries. It also helps us to communicate about the need for change or growth, alongside what is working well. In addition, my team director also meets with each of us, allowing us to communicate needs, considerations, and prayer requests. I've also enjoyed getting to work with SEND workers outside of my immediate region . We receive emails with the minutes from the Europe leadership team, Friday communications from our international director, and information regarding projects that affect our work among the unreached. In December of 2024, our international director at the time wrote a note to my parents for the first Christmas that I was gone. If nothing else had convinced my mom yet, this did. He took the time to care for me, but also to care well for the parents that were sending me (What it meant to my dad and mom for him to do this well has been one of the greatest ways I've been supported.). I also have some pretty wonderful regional directors. These people have prayed alongside us (while also serving in their own countries of service), they have taken time to come visit and encourage our team, and they have also taken the time to encourage the people in our churches. Development SEND has provided much in the area of development and care (spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally). At our regional conference (every three years), there have been medical check ups available, counseling options, and time for connecting with others on the field with similar experience. At our conference last October, I connected with a missionary who served overseas for many years, and is now serving on the administrative side of SEND. She has met with me since then for mentorship and has also invested much of her time recently in preparing a retreat for the singles across Europe. Accountability Over the years I have read and heard amazing stories of how God has worked through missionaries. God has done great things and great things He is still doing! However, people who have committed their lives to the Lord in this way are not “super Christians”. We are still humans with the same struggle against flesh that others have . A major challenge is in being isolated -- living in areas with little to no presence of other believers to sharpen them can cause many difficulties. SEND has been a great resource in this area too. Through my team, I have an accountability partner that I meet with monthly. When my regional director came to visit, he and his wife spent a day with me and asked intentional questions about how I lead, handle conflict, and how I am growing in general as a Christian. In addition, my teammates share their wisdom with me on a regular basis. These things and more have assured me that SEND International is a highly valuable organization and I'm excited to partner with them in service to, for, and with our great God! Interested in being sent by SEND?
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