The bittersweet life of missionary kids
By Rebecca Frankish in Canada —
If there were one word that summed up the experience of being a missionary kid (MK), it would be this one: bittersweet. While it has its challenges and includes many goodbyes and transitions, being an MK is a grand adventure, filled with diverse experiences, friends from around the globe, and the opportunity to see the world through many lenses.
The bitter
I think most MKs would agree that this lifestyle brings with it difficulties. Heartache caused by the many goodbyes. The constant transitions. Finding oneself to be somewhat of a stranger no matter where you currently call home. Pain caused by loss—loss of home, loss of friends, loss of belongings.
Living in the spotlight can grow tiresome. Answering questions that seem ignorant, such as, “Do you ride elephants to school?” can make MKs feel frustrated with people in our passport countries. The struggle of being a “hidden immigrant” in the country to which your passport says you belong.
The sweet
Yet there is incredible sweetness—a life filled with adventures, precious friendships that transcend distance and time, a grand worldview curated from world travels and living in multiple cultures. A great appreciation for those who are different. Embracing diversity and cultural differences. The pleasure of belonging to a worldwide family with more “aunts” and “uncles” than most people can fathom. In fact, no matter where life has taken me, there always seems to be someone from my childhood or someone who has lived a similar life and therefore, meeting them comes with an instant understanding and bond. These relationships have made moves easier, assuring me that I’m never alone.
The sweetest
Over time, the memories of those things that once seemed so difficult fade away, leaving only the sweetness derived from the missionary kid experience. And now as an adult, it’s the happy memories that remain forefront in my mind.
Growing up, my family fled two different host nations due to civil war. Like many kids, we had a shell collection, but ours wasn’t the kind of shells you collect at the beach. It was a bullet shell collection, gathered from our front yard. I lost everything I owned twice before I was 10. And yet, these aren’t the things that I first think of when people ask me about my childhood. I remember my best friend who was Japanese living in Congo. I remember many happy Saturdays spent in the jungle, floating down tributaries of the Congo River. I remember playing with my beautiful German shepherd. I remember the warmth of being a part of a close-knit community that gave me a deep sense of belonging. I remember the adventure of exploring new places, discovering new ways of doing things and being introduced to different perspectives.
The benefits of being raised as an MK
If you’re an MK and the hard times seem to be overwhelming the positive pieces, or you’ve been tempted to pity MKs, consider these benefits of being raised as an MK:
MKs are cross culturally savvy:
We talk a lot these days about cross-cultural communication, partnerships and intelligence. There are books about the principles of cross-cultural partnerships. As the world becomes increasingly connected, it’s important for people—from missionaries to business people—to be cross culturally savvy. Having grown up in at least two countries, many MKs are able to navigate the complexities of cross-cultural interaction with ease.
MKs are resilient:
While they face tough times and hard goodbyes that seem daunting in their younger years, as adults they will be thankful for the resilience they possess. Hard times are a reality for all—disappointment, discouragement, frustration, distress—but MKs have a special ability to rise above and embrace the good, rather than dwelling on the difficult.
MKs are adaptable:
Change is never easy, but MKs have the ability to roll with the punches. When your childhood involves having a different best friend every year because you moved or your friend moved, you become adept at befriending anyone and everyone. When it comes to new situations, MKs are particularly good at jumping in with both feet and making the best of the new situation.
Supporting MKs
Get to know missionary kids! They will give you a glimpse into the brilliant colors of the world. They’ll be empathetic listeners and lifelong friends. They’ll be game for going on new adventures with you. And they need you—they need a tour guide for their passport country, someone to answer questions and give advice on how to navigate life in North America.
I remember moving back to Canada in high school and being in line with a few friends at the vending machine in the school cafeteria. As my turn arrived, I realized that I’d never actually used a vending machine before. I was so grateful when I admitted this to a friend and rather than being shocked at the fact that I didn’t know how to use the vending machine and teasing me, they showed me how it worked and recognized that I needed help with some of the very “basic” parts of North American life. As “hidden immigrants,” we appreciate people who are willing to show us the ropes without making us feel weird or out-of-place.
Being an MK: Embrace the bittersweet
If you’re an MK, embrace the bitter-sweetness of the MK life. Remember that the difficult times will grow you as a person, making you stronger, more empathetic, and more resilient. Eventually, the things that seem so hard will be distant memories. They won’t seem so big or so challenging. Instead you’ll see them as life experiences that made you a stronger, better person.
I have moved a number of times now in my adult life, and while saying good-bye never really gets easier, starting life in a new place doesn’t feel so daunting. I know from experience that I can make friends and make a new place feel like home. I can choose to belong anywhere.
So, focus on the sweetness and remember that while you might envy your friends who have lived in the same house their whole lives, they probably envy your exotic, globe-trotting childhood. Enjoy the view from your vantage point, because it is like none other. Wear your global citizenship proudly—your MK experience is a precious one.
Additional Posts
Choosing a Missions Organization: Why SEND International Stands Out “Why should I be a missionary through SEND International?” Jenna, a new missionary in Eastern Europe, shared with us what she appreciates about working with SEND. The highlights for her are: - Devotion to prayer - Diligence in communication - Commitment to development - Intentionality in accountability Prayer “Back in September of 2022, the Lord reconnected me with SEND after I had met them a year prior at the Moody Bible Institute. However, before he would sign me up for anything, my Missions Coach encouraged me to pray. He said something to the effect of, "I know that you've been praying on your own for a long time. But as the Church, we are not called to walk alone. So, you and I won't talk for about a month unless you have questions. I want you to go pray with 5 or 6 others from your church about where God is calling you." That October, more than 10 friends prayed with me and we saw God answer as He directed me to Romania. From February 2024 to November 2025, I had the pleasure of being a part of team meetings in Romania with my SEND colleagues. Our meetings were four hours long, two for prayer and two for business. This has been the minimum for our team. There are also prayer meetings with the local churches we partner with, among smaller groups within our team, of course prayer with many of you across the pond, including those at our US office. The organization was built, has been sustained, and continues to run on prayer. This is my favorite thing about SEND. Communication As I mentioned above, we have a two hour block for business / ministry details in each of our meetings. This provides consistency across our team which works alongside three different churches and in a variety of ministries. It also helps us to communicate about the need for change or growth, alongside what is working well. In addition, my team director also meets with each of us, allowing us to communicate needs, considerations, and prayer requests. I've also enjoyed getting to work with SEND workers outside of my immediate region . We receive emails with the minutes from the Europe leadership team, Friday communications from our international director, and information regarding projects that affect our work among the unreached. In December of 2024, our international director at the time wrote a note to my parents for the first Christmas that I was gone. If nothing else had convinced my mom yet, this did. He took the time to care for me, but also to care well for the parents that were sending me (What it meant to my dad and mom for him to do this well has been one of the greatest ways I've been supported.). I also have some pretty wonderful regional directors. These people have prayed alongside us (while also serving in their own countries of service), they have taken time to come visit and encourage our team, and they have also taken the time to encourage the people in our churches. Development SEND has provided much in the area of development and care (spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally). At our regional conference (every three years), there have been medical check ups available, counseling options, and time for connecting with others on the field with similar experience. At our conference last October, I connected with a missionary who served overseas for many years, and is now serving on the administrative side of SEND. She has met with me since then for mentorship and has also invested much of her time recently in preparing a retreat for the singles across Europe. Accountability Over the years I have read and heard amazing stories of how God has worked through missionaries. God has done great things and great things He is still doing! However, people who have committed their lives to the Lord in this way are not “super Christians”. We are still humans with the same struggle against flesh that others have . A major challenge is in being isolated -- living in areas with little to no presence of other believers to sharpen them can cause many difficulties. SEND has been a great resource in this area too. Through my team, I have an accountability partner that I meet with monthly. When my regional director came to visit, he and his wife spent a day with me and asked intentional questions about how I lead, handle conflict, and how I am growing in general as a Christian. In addition, my teammates share their wisdom with me on a regular basis. These things and more have assured me that SEND International is a highly valuable organization and I'm excited to partner with them in service to, for, and with our great God! Interested in being sent by SEND?
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