Of art and a sometimes-sorrowful heart
Editor’s note: Joel Barkman grew up as a missionary kid. Kara had never considered missions. After they married, they felt God calling them to reach Spaniards through art and music. They signed on with SEND, raised support, went through training — and now they’re gone. But they’re taking us with them. Throughout their initial year on the field, Joel and Kara will share here about their experiences as first-term missionaries in Spain. Click here to read about how they felt before they said goodbye, here for their first dispatch from Spain, here for Joel’s reaction to the first time he felt entirely overwhelmed, here for why they appreciate serving on a multicultural team, and here for what happened when the Slump hit.
By Kara Barkman —
Last week marked four months since we arrived in Spain. When I realized this, I felt a mixture of emotions. I struggled to know if I was okay with this or not. In some ways it was exciting and felt like it hadn't been that long, but then another part of me thought, "It has been a long time. What have I done in these four months?"
Joel and I just finished our first trimester of the beginning level of Spanish class. I find myself struggling with the thought that I should be further along in my Spanish. But then I remember not only did we began to learn the language, in the past four months we've also found a house, bought a car, applied for residency and settled into our new neighborhood.
Our class was full of many international students including several East Asians, one German, one Japanese, one Korean, and us two Americans. During these four months, we've been building relationships by taking regular trips on the city bus, and visiting with our classmates and the waitress at the coffee shop. It isn't just about learning the language; it's so much more than that.
I have had days when I'm flying high and I feel I have to pinch myself because my life feels like a dream. God has placed me in a country that has a culture full of famous artwork, music, dance, and incredible travel destinations that people all over the world only dream about visiting, and he has allowed me to live here!
But I would be lying if I said that I have not struggled at all. It's hard to see my family, especially nieces, nephews, and grandparents, continue to move on with their lives "without me." I struggle with thoughts like, "What will happen to my grandparents? What if I can't be there for them? What if my nieces and nephews don't remember me? Will they have bitterness toward me for never being around?"
My niece recently had a birthday party. I tried to call and FaceTime several times, but couldn't get ahold of them. The disappointment came over me again, along with the thought that I had let my niece down by not being able to be at her party.
"Is being obedient to God (moving to the other side of the ocean) really the best thing I could do for my family?" Yes, I have thought this. I don't like to admit it, but it's the truth. This is when I choose to have faith in the things I can't see and trust that God knows what is best.
Just the other day I received a letter. Oh, how it filled me with such joy to get a letter in the mail! But I was caught off guard when the closing statement said, "It was good to hear from you. Have a nice year."
What? "A nice year?!" Will we not talk at all before then? The reality that I was not going to be back for a long time hit me like a ton of bricks. I wept to God bitterly saying, "is this what it means to pick up your cross daily, because this hurts! They're moving on without me. What if they forget about me? What if they don't need me in their lives anymore?" I know the "correct" answers in my head, but believing them in my heart remains a struggle.
I know moving forward from here will mean choosing daily to believe his promises and that his plans are on a much grander scale that I cannot fathom. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8)
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Additional Posts
Choosing a Missions Organization: Why SEND International Stands Out “Why should I be a missionary through SEND International?” Jenna, a new missionary in Eastern Europe, shared with us what she appreciates about working with SEND. The highlights for her are: - Devotion to prayer - Diligence in communication - Commitment to development - Intentionality in accountability Prayer “Back in September of 2022, the Lord reconnected me with SEND after I had met them a year prior at the Moody Bible Institute. However, before he would sign me up for anything, my Missions Coach encouraged me to pray. He said something to the effect of, "I know that you've been praying on your own for a long time. But as the Church, we are not called to walk alone. So, you and I won't talk for about a month unless you have questions. I want you to go pray with 5 or 6 others from your church about where God is calling you." That October, more than 10 friends prayed with me and we saw God answer as He directed me to Romania. From February 2024 to November 2025, I had the pleasure of being a part of team meetings in Romania with my SEND colleagues. Our meetings were four hours long, two for prayer and two for business. This has been the minimum for our team. There are also prayer meetings with the local churches we partner with, among smaller groups within our team, of course prayer with many of you across the pond, including those at our US office. The organization was built, has been sustained, and continues to run on prayer. This is my favorite thing about SEND. Communication As I mentioned above, we have a two hour block for business / ministry details in each of our meetings. This provides consistency across our team which works alongside three different churches and in a variety of ministries. It also helps us to communicate about the need for change or growth, alongside what is working well. In addition, my team director also meets with each of us, allowing us to communicate needs, considerations, and prayer requests. I've also enjoyed getting to work with SEND workers outside of my immediate region . We receive emails with the minutes from the Europe leadership team, Friday communications from our international director, and information regarding projects that affect our work among the unreached. In December of 2024, our international director at the time wrote a note to my parents for the first Christmas that I was gone. If nothing else had convinced my mom yet, this did. He took the time to care for me, but also to care well for the parents that were sending me (What it meant to my dad and mom for him to do this well has been one of the greatest ways I've been supported.). I also have some pretty wonderful regional directors. These people have prayed alongside us (while also serving in their own countries of service), they have taken time to come visit and encourage our team, and they have also taken the time to encourage the people in our churches. Development SEND has provided much in the area of development and care (spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally). At our regional conference (every three years), there have been medical check ups available, counseling options, and time for connecting with others on the field with similar experience. At our conference last October, I connected with a missionary who served overseas for many years, and is now serving on the administrative side of SEND. She has met with me since then for mentorship and has also invested much of her time recently in preparing a retreat for the singles across Europe. Accountability Over the years I have read and heard amazing stories of how God has worked through missionaries. God has done great things and great things He is still doing! However, people who have committed their lives to the Lord in this way are not “super Christians”. We are still humans with the same struggle against flesh that others have . A major challenge is in being isolated -- living in areas with little to no presence of other believers to sharpen them can cause many difficulties. SEND has been a great resource in this area too. Through my team, I have an accountability partner that I meet with monthly. When my regional director came to visit, he and his wife spent a day with me and asked intentional questions about how I lead, handle conflict, and how I am growing in general as a Christian. In addition, my teammates share their wisdom with me on a regular basis. These things and more have assured me that SEND International is a highly valuable organization and I'm excited to partner with them in service to, for, and with our great God! Interested in being sent by SEND?
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