10 ways to make cultural adjustment fun and fascinating
By Bob McKemey — Are we obsessed with tips on culture shock? While it would be unwise to send missionaries into another culture without good training on cultural difference, it seems to me that everybody wants to write a new book on the subject.
Sometimes I fear that the emphasis on culture shock in the absence of encouragement, hope, and faith is producing adverse reactions. New missionaries aren’t ignorant of culture shock; they are almost paranoid. They are well aware of the problems they will face, but few can explain just how they plan to cope. With this in mind, I write to the new missionary out of my experience:
Dear new missionary, I just received word of your appointment. Let me be the first to say “Welcome!” You are going to love your new country!
No doubt you are familiar with the term “culture shock?” Yes there will be hard times and struggles, but even language study can be fascinating and fun. It really depends on your attitude. Let me give you some tips on how to cope and enjoy yourself in the process.
Go as a learner
I realize that you have so much to give and teach, and your whole purpose in moving is to bring God’s clear message, but never forget that we have so much we can learn from people in this culture. Make your first two years of language study a learning time in every way possible. Be ministered to before you minister.
Expect negative reactions
There will be many things that you will not like; that is true no matter where you live. Yet the feelings seem to be more intense in a totally foreign culture. You may not have any problems during the first weeks or months, but eventually the realization that this is long term will sink in. That’s when you’ll be especially vulnerable to strong negative reactions. These feelings are not wrong or sinful, but quite natural. Just don’t be surprised or angry with yourself. Take a day off; treat yourself to something familiar.
Accept difference
One of your first reactions may be to focus your attention on what is familiar and the same as back home. Usually most of the differences are deeper. And then someday you will realize that at an even deeper level, people are people everywhere and our commonalities are greater than our differences. Make yourself a little sign and post it for your first two years that says, “Different, not wrong.”
Accept yourself
If a failure to accept differences makes you critical, failure to accept yourself can make you defensive. Learn to try new things but don’t demand of yourself that you like them. If you don’t accept difference, you will withdraw into isolation. The opposite mistake is to “go native” and worship all things about the surrounding culture. As you accept yourself and allow yourself to be YOU, you can then turn your eyes off yourself and begin to reach out to others.
Keep your sense of humor
You will make mistakes, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s OK to fail. The embarrassment will pass and you will have a few funny stories that you will probably enjoy for the rest of your life. I’m not advocating carelessness, but it will do you no good to take yourself too seriously. It’s is just amazing how much easier adjustment becomes when taken with a good dose of humor. People are going to laugh, so you might as well join them.
Rejoice in small victories
Rather than focus your attention on the fact that you didn’t understand a conversation, rejoice that you recognized some of the words. When you take an express train by mistake and fly past your stop, count it a victory when you navigate your way back. Don’t berate yourself for not catching touchdown passes when you’re still learning how to walk! Set short-range goals, and take the time to celebrate their achievement.
Open up to others
It is not sinful to have anxieties, negative reactions, and struggles. And these problems will become far easier to handle when we open ourselves to others and to God. Don’t let pride keep you from sharing with people who care. Without being critical you can tell your prayer partners that language school, on top of other adjustments, amounts to stress. What good is it to have prayer partners if we hide our real needs? Most of all, stay open to God. You can trust the One who made you and called you to serve him in this culture.
Take vacations
And take them seriously. Sometimes a day of hiking in the mountains will do you far more good than more study. Just like mini-breaks during a long night of language study (10 minutes here, 15 there), days and weekends off can lift your spirit and restore your energy. Take time for shopping, exploring, sight-seeing, hiking, or just goofing off. Time spent in solitude, alone with the Lord, or with your family is not wasted.
Be patient with yourself
Like spiritual growth, it’s natural for us to want to become perfect by next Tuesday. Expect a few setbacks along the way. Learn to forgive yourself and others. Live one day at a time.
Love people
That sounds simple but it may be the most important thing I say. Love does not take advantage of our foreignness, or make excuses for not trying. Love seeks to understand and accept others. Love respects the dignity of others, and is willing to learn. Love will free you to be truly yourself, to open up to others, and to laugh when things go wrong. For love is not self-centered, easily hurt, or pushy. And love is possible through him who greatly loved us first.
Additional Posts
Choosing a Missions Organization: Why SEND International Stands Out “Why should I be a missionary through SEND International?” Jenna, a new missionary in Eastern Europe, shared with us what she appreciates about working with SEND. The highlights for her are: - Devotion to prayer - Diligence in communication - Commitment to development - Intentionality in accountability Prayer “Back in September of 2022, the Lord reconnected me with SEND after I had met them a year prior at the Moody Bible Institute. However, before he would sign me up for anything, my Missions Coach encouraged me to pray. He said something to the effect of, "I know that you've been praying on your own for a long time. But as the Church, we are not called to walk alone. So, you and I won't talk for about a month unless you have questions. I want you to go pray with 5 or 6 others from your church about where God is calling you." That October, more than 10 friends prayed with me and we saw God answer as He directed me to Romania. From February 2024 to November 2025, I had the pleasure of being a part of team meetings in Romania with my SEND colleagues. Our meetings were four hours long, two for prayer and two for business. This has been the minimum for our team. There are also prayer meetings with the local churches we partner with, among smaller groups within our team, of course prayer with many of you across the pond, including those at our US office. The organization was built, has been sustained, and continues to run on prayer. This is my favorite thing about SEND. Communication As I mentioned above, we have a two hour block for business / ministry details in each of our meetings. This provides consistency across our team which works alongside three different churches and in a variety of ministries. It also helps us to communicate about the need for change or growth, alongside what is working well. In addition, my team director also meets with each of us, allowing us to communicate needs, considerations, and prayer requests. I've also enjoyed getting to work with SEND workers outside of my immediate region . We receive emails with the minutes from the Europe leadership team, Friday communications from our international director, and information regarding projects that affect our work among the unreached. In December of 2024, our international director at the time wrote a note to my parents for the first Christmas that I was gone. If nothing else had convinced my mom yet, this did. He took the time to care for me, but also to care well for the parents that were sending me (What it meant to my dad and mom for him to do this well has been one of the greatest ways I've been supported.). I also have some pretty wonderful regional directors. These people have prayed alongside us (while also serving in their own countries of service), they have taken time to come visit and encourage our team, and they have also taken the time to encourage the people in our churches. Development SEND has provided much in the area of development and care (spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally). At our regional conference (every three years), there have been medical check ups available, counseling options, and time for connecting with others on the field with similar experience. At our conference last October, I connected with a missionary who served overseas for many years, and is now serving on the administrative side of SEND. She has met with me since then for mentorship and has also invested much of her time recently in preparing a retreat for the singles across Europe. Accountability Over the years I have read and heard amazing stories of how God has worked through missionaries. God has done great things and great things He is still doing! However, people who have committed their lives to the Lord in this way are not “super Christians”. We are still humans with the same struggle against flesh that others have . A major challenge is in being isolated -- living in areas with little to no presence of other believers to sharpen them can cause many difficulties. SEND has been a great resource in this area too. Through my team, I have an accountability partner that I meet with monthly. When my regional director came to visit, he and his wife spent a day with me and asked intentional questions about how I lead, handle conflict, and how I am growing in general as a Christian. In addition, my teammates share their wisdom with me on a regular basis. These things and more have assured me that SEND International is a highly valuable organization and I'm excited to partner with them in service to, for, and with our great God! Interested in being sent by SEND?
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